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Being Delusional and Queer With Reneé Rapp

From Broadway to the big screen, the multi-talented actor and singer Reneé Rapp now prepares to take over North America with her music in her upcoming “Snow Hard Feelings Tour” starting mid-September of this year.

Through her role in Broadway the star showed the public that she is not only an incredible actor, but also a fantastical singer. And with around 3 million monthly listeners on Spotify and sold-out shows, the star is definitely a fan favourite, but not without reason. As seen in her 2022 debut EP Everything to Everyone, from lyrics to melody and voice, Rapp shows what seems like an endless talent in the performing arts and a presence born for the stage.

Because of all of this and as personal fans here at Healthline, we were incredibly honoured to be able to sit in a Zoom call with Reneé before she embarked on her tour and released her first album, now out, Snow Angel. There we learned much about the artist and came to love her even, as you will most likely do after this article.

Your journey from High school theatre to Broadway to Tv to music is really interesting and covers a lot of ground. So was music always the end goal, or what caused this to be the chain of events and do you feel more drawn to some fields over others?

Yes, to be honest, music was always the goal, music was always the thing I wanted to do and honestly it was the only thing I thought I was gonna do. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to act. I idolized Jennifer Aniston in “Friends,” and I thought it was the coolest thing ever. I just didn’t think I was a good actor at all, like I thought that was the shittiest part of my talent, like I thought that was not a good thing. That and songwriting were my biggest insecurities and those are literally what I do now, so it’s great. But yeah music was always what I was going to do, acting just happened to be a really really cool conduit, and something that came into my life and ended up being incredibly important and has really served my music ultimately. But yeah music was always the goal, was always mommy.

You have been able to work with many talented women both through your acting career and your music career. How have these experiences impacted you and your space in the music industry?

I think that I am simply, in good ways, not bad ways, I’m a second product of the people I'm around, and I’m very spoiled, especially with the women that are in my company and the non-men that are in my company, I have some good men don’t get me wrong. My best friend in the whole wide world I met through work – Alya Chanelle Scott – and she is not only my best friend and greatest confidant but she also directs a lot of my music videos, and has a really really big hand in my personal life and my music career she has come to the studio with me and is on background vocals in “Snow Angel” and she is just incredible. Obviously, I wouldn’t be who I am without her as my friend, but being fortunate enough to work with somebody, who is so talented and very thoughtful and also is like definitely the next big thing, feels very spoiled. I feel like “Yes I got her first!” because yeah she’s iconic. So yeah the women in my life shape a lot of things around me

When the album was finalized, did you feel like coming away from it, did you have more questions about yourself or answers about yourself?

I think I have more answers, I think that my answer honestly that I came away with, is that I’m always going to have more questions about myself, if that makes sense. Because I think I try really hard to make sense of everything and I’m sure like we all do, in on our sort of way. But I like so desperately want to understand things, and I get frustrated when I can’t. And I get really frustrated because I start blaming myself and I start making it a thing of like “why cant you just figure out, why did you say this?” or “why you feel this way toward this person?” or “why can’t you resolve x, y and z feelings?” And I think that the answer has been that I need to start accepting that a little bit more, it won’t cause me as much harm and therefore is something that I deal with this. I think I left with more answers but I will have more questions tomorrow.

There have been viral clips on social media platforms, such as TikTok, of you talking about delusion and accrediting it for your confidence and even parts of your career. So, I was wondering if the idea of delusion more helped or impaired your career?

It is so interesting now, because I feel like now delusion is this cute thing, it is becoming like slay and it is very fun and very funny and silly. I think delusion has helped me, when I say delusion I don’t mean delusional as in something that is not at all going to happen. When I say delusion I mean like no matter how much I doubt myself in something, and trust me is a lot, and it is a lot more that a lead on, I am going to fucking do it. I’m going to it, I don’t know how, I don’t know when but I will and that to me is delusion. And I think is just like a weird innate belief in myself, and a real hunger to do something I love so much. So I think delusion is my little BFF.

I agree, it is what got me here

Hundred percent! Because also again, it dent have to be a bad thing. I think it’s a great thing, especially as girls or non-men, you kinda were taught if you come across confidence that’s actually not super cool, so let’s mask it as delusion so that we can giggle with you, and not intimidated by you and not be bothered by your presence. So I think a lot of times when I say delusion it’s to avoid people calling me a bitch for saying that I believe in myself. Yeah which I don’t know if that’s good or bad, I don’t know if I’m serving myself or if I’m like hurting some sort of a deeper psyche sort of thing.

When you are writing music, do you find it easier to get inspiration from happier moments in your life or more difficult times, essentially, do happy songs or sad songs come easier to you?

I typically find it easier to write sad songs, and that doesn’t mean they are sad slows songs, like “Pretty Girls” is my most up-tempo song I’ve ever put out. But it’s a really sad song, like the lyrics are incredibly sad. Just to give some context its basically about I’m bisexual, and it’s this situation like I’m out and this straight girl who is mutual friend of all of ours and is like “ you know babe if I wanted to I totally would” and I’m like that’s amazing, that’s incredible, I’m so glad you feel that way and I’m so glad you feel super comfortable to come and hypersexualise me, so thank you so much, that sat really well with me, So you know, they are sad songs but they don’t have to be ballads. I don’t think I have ever written a happy song.

As a public figure, you have been open about your identity, even on this Zoom, of you being part of the LGBTQ+ community. As a result, your queer fans have been overjoyed to resonate with your music and your experience. How has this journey impacted your music, how will it impact your tour, how does it impact you?

It is insane, I have been out to different people for almost ten years now. And since I have publicly out, and by publicly, I mean out as somebody who does work that can potentially be consumed by a mass of people, I have become so much more comfortable in myself. And I think a part of that comes from a normal, obvious like the more you are publicly accepted, the more you’re gonna be comfortable with yourself, like no shit. Like imagine, if no one was homophobic, we would all probably be way more gay, like that’s an obvious thing. But I also think, in being open about it I have like found the grace to do so, within this community, which I would not have had, and I did not have that, and a lot of people have that a bazillion times worse than me, so let’s be clear, it’s not this like hyper angelic “and I myself Reneé Rapp, a bisexual white woman, I am the gay community” Like, no, it is not that. But I am very fortunate to have an enormous community of queer people around me while identifying different ways and all lift each other up all the same, and therefore do the same to me. I like to call people out for being straight now, I do it in like business things with a bunch of old people and I’ll be like “Who is straight, raise your hand” “Yeah how does that fucking feel?” It gives me the confidence to do things like that, and I also like to fuck with people so that’s also fun. It’s really nice and it has been a huge part of my career.


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